12 days of christmas

Religions of the world

Source : http://13th-deja-vu.blogspot.com/2006/04/multicolour-multicultural-britain.html

just read it.

1. God is real, unless declared integer

2. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.

3. Death is hereditary.

4. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

6. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

7. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

9. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

11. Well done is better than well said.

12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

13. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

14. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

15. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

16. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

A superb love letter

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on a probation period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-job-training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

Romeo ( HR Executive )

Life-Totally Agree wit this.

Words Women Use!!

Fine*
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right *and* you
need to shut up. *

Five Minutes*
If she is getting dressed, *this is* half an hour.
Five minutes is *only* five minutes if you have just been given 5 more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. *

Nothing*
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be
on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". *

Go Ahead*
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! *

Loud Sigh*
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A
"Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". *

That's Okay*
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake. *

Thanks*
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is
thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and *back out of
the room slowly*.


Send this to the Men you know and want to help, or to the Women you know for
a laugh. !


BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME


And last but not least:

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

How a Sardar protects his slippers

Laugh till u drop

IF YOU yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

******A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)