iinaf

( Iinaf Is Not A Fwd )

Friday, June 30, 2006

Prayer of Bachelor's Club


Aise apni wife ho,
5'7" jiski height ho,
Jeans jiski tight ho,
Chehra jiska bright ho,
Weight mein thodi light ho,
Umar me difference slight ho,
Thodi si woh quiet ho,
Aise apni wife ho.

Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,
Bhid me sab kahe side ho-side ho,
INDIA ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho,
Aisi apni wife ho.

Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,
Candle light dinner ho,
Dono me kabhi na fight ho,
Milne ke baad dil delight ho,
Hey PRABHU teri archane uski life ho,
Yeh kavita padhke sab kahe "Guru tum right ho",
Aisi apni wife ho.
Kaash yeh concept 0.000001 % bhi right ho,
Agar aisi apni wife ho to kya haseen life ho,
Har Kisi ki yeh farmaish ho, kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho,
Khudah ke software mein bhi debug ki na gunjaish ho,
Ay kaash kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho,
Aisi apni wife ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read it ...

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004 & 2005 & 2006.

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes. I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phon! e for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and
urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the
hospital about7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)!

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc… now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 12477896 people in the next 10 seconds, a flying cow will SH** on your head today at 6:30pm.

Put Shark in ur Tank

Interesting story for YOU ALL

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.

Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference.Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?


If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?


As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax.You experience the same problem as lottery winners who waste their money, wealthy heirs who never grow up and bored homemakers who get addicted to prescription drugs.



Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple. It was observed by L. Ron Hubbard in the early 1950's. "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."- L. Ron Hubbard





The Benefits of a Challenge:



The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!



How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:



To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state.The fish are challenged.


Recommendations:



Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.


If you have met your goals, set some bigger goals. Once you meet your personal or family needs, move onto goals for your group, the society, even mankind. Don't create success and lie in it. You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference."


So, put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

World's worst PJ -- new version

> A person is riding on his TVS VICTOR bike through a very dense forest in the evening. After about an hour he sees a peacock appear all of a sudden in the way and the peacock is smiling at him. The man feels its kinda weird and carries on traveling.

Another hour passes and he sees the same peacock again in the middle of the road smiling at him. The man is a little scared now, but says to himself that he is just tired and is just imagining things and carries on with his ride.

Yet another hour passes and he finds the peacock again appearing out of nowhere smiling at him.........


> Why is this happening?????
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> Because the man is riding TVS Victor and so "More smiles per hour".
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> (a 'More' is a peacock in hindi)

Good morning

LION goes on-site

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also. On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.

The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, and ⅕R~Don⅕R(tm)t you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management? what nonsense is this? why are you delivering bananas to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!

Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!

Jack and Jill

What is maithili? - An interesting discussion thread (start from last)

READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP

But alas.....nobody can beat software engineers at
nonsense.



<<<<>>>




-----Original Message-----
From: Aniljoshi
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 11:39 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: German's ,Jews, Aryans


We sit before the monitor staring into the pixels,
making faces the whole day like monkeys. And you claim
that you are not in this monkey business? Beats me!!


ANIL JOSHI

-----Original Message-----
From: AnandV
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 11:13 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: monkeys and dravidians


My theory is first step to identify software engrs.I'm
more interested in showing that software engrs are not
monkeys (bcas they are not
aryans) which my house owner believes!!!

-----Original Message-----
From: DHRUVAV
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 11:09 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: teachers and dravidian


Your theory only proves that Software engineers are
not aryans.Therefore they can be any thing other than
aryans and not only dravidians.

-----Original Message-----
From: AnandV
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 11:04 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: teachers and dravidian


B'cas only teachers (arya's) are aryans. So all
software engr's are dravidians.

-----Original Message-----
From: raghavendrak
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 11:00 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Aryans- H aryana


Let me get it clear.Are u suggesting that all people
in haryana are monkeys?????

-----Original Message-----
From: ashokkm
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 199910:59 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Aryans- H aryana


No, Only the native of Haryana are are aryans b'coz U
just remove the 'H' in Haryana so it becomes
aryana.Agreed or not????


-----Original Message-----
From: raghavendrak
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 10:54 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: German's ,Jews, Aryans are Indians


Then even monkeys are aryans!!!!!!(I think they too
have 10 fingers). That's what ramayan says. So all
vanars were also aryans!!!


-----Original Message-----
From: Aniljoshi
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 10:50 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: German's ,Jews, Aryans are Indians


How logical!! Now I could easily prove that even
Africans are Aryans. They have 10 fingers- so they are
aryans. They have 10 toes on their feet - so they
are aryans. Thanks for proving that all are aryans.

ANIL JOSHI

-----Original Message-----
From: Kedardesai
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 10:40 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Proof:German's ,Jews, Aryans are Indians


Indians invented the decimal system. Ravan(Jew) had
ten heads, Ram's father(aryan + German)had ten
chariots (Dash-rath) etc.Thus , the base is 10. There
fore they are all Indians

-----Original Message-----
From: Aniljoshi
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 9:58 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/Germans


Germans don't play cricket. So cricketers can't be
germans. QED

ANIL JOSHI

-----Original Message-----
From: Dinni Lingaraj
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 9:56 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/ Germans


It just occured that a better subject would have been
"CRICKET" but this &nbs nbsp; one stopped ...."Are our
cricketers Aryans/Germans ?" So we got to solve this
one !

-----Original Message-----
From: Aniljoshi
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 9:55 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Major fallacy/Aryans & Germans


Let the 'intellectuals' decide... you will know who
you are soon enough.

ANIL JOSHI

-----Original Message-----
From: Yeshwant Dattatreya
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 19999:39 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/Germans


OH BOY!! WHO ARE WE?


-----Original Message-----
From: ashokkm
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 19999:37 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Major fallacy/Aryans & Germans


According to maxmuller, Aryans came from Middle East.
According to Bal Gangadhar Tilak, Antarctica was the
home place of Aryans. And Swami Dayanand Saraswati
says Aryans were originally from India b'coz the place
"saptsandhav" that is described many times in their
book is nothing but Doab region between Ganga &
Jamuna. And One theory according Bhagwandas is that
Aryans were originally from India then they went to
middle east and after some time they returned back to
India.So there are different theories about the origin
of Aryans but recent belief is that only India was
their native-land.

-----Original Message-----
From: Aniljoshi
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 19999:37 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/Germans


So, at present we are at a point where MK's son is a
Russian, implying MK is a Russian. MK is a ardent
follower of Ravan who is a German Jew. Looks like the
german govt running Karnataka(see our previous
discussions for a proof of it) is conniving with the
Russian govt at Tamilnadu (who support German) to
fight the Italian Govts reps at 10 Janpath road. Some
heavy international politics we have going on here.
Wat's d'ya say man!!



ANIL JOSHI

-----Original Message-----
From: amajumder
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 9:21 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/Germans
Importance: High


Might be Russians too.. that explains why MK's son is
called STALIN.

-----Original Message-----
From: raghavendrak
Posted At: Friday, September 03, 1999 9:13 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/Germans


Say this to the DMK and they're gonna kick u!!
according to them ravan was a dravidian and was
attacked by ram as ram was an aryan. So if ram was a
german, and assuming he was a 'hitlerite 'aryan, then
ravan must have been a jew!!!



-----Original Message-----
From: Aniljoshi
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 1999 6:57 PM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: MAJOR FALLACY- Aryans/Germans


No, on the contrary it proves that Ravan was a German
since it was he who owned the Pushpak Viman. The
passengers could belong to any country.


ANIL JOSHI

-----Original Message-----
From: vishnoor
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 1999 5:44 PM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: major fallacy...


After defeating ravana .... Sri Rama flew back in
Ravana's pushpak vimana & This is what the Mordern
Lufthansa is . It is the modern version of the older
pushpaka vimana. The pushpak vimana was "driven" by
hansa or swans.... The insignia of Lufthansa is also a
swan... This further proves Sri Rama was a German Hail
Rama ....


----------
From: khandelwalh
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 199912:54 PM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: major fallacy...


the argument is wrong.
the conclusion is fallacious

-----Original Message-----
From: vishnoor
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 1999 4:44 PM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Mithla


Rama was an aryan ;
Germans claim to be aryans so Rama was a German &nbs
nbsp; Hail Rama....


----------
From: ashokkm
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 199911:53 AM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Mithla


And what about Home minister Advani & Noble Prize
winner Economics Dr. Amartya Sen???

-----Original Message-----
From: Sudha Vedula
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 19994:02 PM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Mithla & Maithili


God Shiva is also a foreigner because
Mt.Kailash is in China. Buddha was also a foreigner
because
Lumbini(?) is in Nepal. So was Guru Nanak, because Talwandi is in Pakistan. So was Porus. So was
Gandhari.....:)


-----Original Message-----
From: Vikas Sharma
Posted At: Thursday, September 02, 1999 10:14 AM
Posted To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Mithla & Maithili


Recently one Congress leader, in defense of Sonia,
quoted that Sita was also a foreigner because
Janakpuri is in Nepal.

-----Original Message-----
From: Pranav Chandra
Posted At: Wednesday, September 01,1999 1:10 PM Posted
To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: Mithla & Maithili


Maithili is a language which derives it's name from
the region in Bihar where it is spoken, the old
kingdom of Mithla. There is a reference to the area
even in Ramayana- Janak( Father of Sita) was king of
Mithla and has been referred to as MithlaNaresh at
many places in RamCharitraManas
- therefore Sita was also called Maithili.


----------
From: Subhashis Roy
Posted At: 1999"N9OE?1"=FA 13:03
Posted To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: what is Maithili ?
Importance: High


Maithili brahmins are known for their gastronome
qualities !!!

-----Original Message-----
From: yogesh=5Fpm
Posted At: Wednesday, September 01,1999 12:12 PM
Posted To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: re: what is maithili


Maithili is a language spoken in central bihar. It has
its own literature.It has its root in the old kingdom
of that area.It is similar to Hindi.



-----Original Message-----
From: himanshudas
Posted At: Wednesday, September 01, 1999 9:06 AM
Posted To: General
Conversation: What is Maithili?
Subject: What is Maithili?

Hi!


Who or what is Maithili, in context of Indian
literature?


<<<<>>>

First one

IINAF(IINAF Is not a Forward).

I would like to make this the home page for all my fwds.