iinaf

( Iinaf Is Not A Fwd )

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Fwd: How to catch and kill a lion


Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.


Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell them that you will upgrade it to Lion v.2 but only if you can come onsite!

Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it o accept that its a Lion. Now lets kill the lion...

Rajnikanth Method: Throw a cigarette into the air, and fire your pistol. The bullet will ignite the cigarette, and then be deflected onto the lion, killing it. The cigarette will fall into your mouth.

Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping!

Mani Ratnam Method: Make sure the lion does not get sunlight and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ektaa Kapoor Method (Director): Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right...ok .... read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method (director): Take the lion to Australia or US... and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days, wearing pink pants and electric green shirts. After the lion goes blind seeing you, make disgusting double-meaning jokes. After the
lion goes deaf listening to them, you can kill it any damn way you please.

Menaka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with vegetables, all the while talking "caring about animals". The lion will kill himself.

George Bush method: If the lion is a terrorist and has a lot of oil in his control, link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him! However, if he has no oil and is willing to sell his country to you, make him your "favored ally".

Rahul Dravid method: Ask the lion to bowl at u. You bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

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